I realized something huge and it would be completely unethical if I didn’t come clean and share it with you. I allowed myself to get jaded. I even got a tad bitter. I started to sing from the choir of, “there aren’t great guys out there, men suck, guys are immature dicks only out to get laid.” Yeah, I was a bit pissed off. My heart got broken and I got negative. It wasn’t until I committed to bettering myself personally and professionally where a major shift took place in my life. So, I urge all of you reading this to please mind shift your limited beliefs about love. You must. Nourish your soul. Care for yourself and get your mind right. I wanted to share what I used to think; what most people slip into and then how to make the switch so you can let love in.
Limiting Belief #1. “Guys don’t want commitment. They just want sex.” “Girls are disloyal and all they want is to hustle men for money.”
Shift to: “I will meet a partner who wants deep connected, soulful sex and who wants to attract prosperity together in a relationship based on commitment and respect. My partner is on their way.”
Which world do you want to live in, a world of scarcity or abundance? Both worlds exist. Your language dictates which one you’re living in; so, choose wisely. The second I shifted my mind the universe presented truths that led to decisions. These decisions cleared the space for love. I was brought to my knees in heartbreak. I tortured myself. Then a switch went off in my head. I believed I was worthy of love and had love to give. I was open to meeting my guy and I took actions to create the space for him in my life. I assure you there are plenty of men out there who don’t want to juggle 4 women at once. Sure, men want sex but your guy wants fulfillment, not just a release. Guys, there are plenty of women who earn a great living and are ambitious and are fine paying their way.
Limiting Belief #2. “Fall for a guy who falls fast and you end up falling on your ass.”
Shift to: “When you know, you just know. Time has nothing to do with it.”
This is still a tough one for me but I’m getting better. I’m one of those rare females who can restrain giddy, girly emotion with logic. I’m a hopeful romantic and this means I can easily slip into fantasy mode playing my life out like a romantic movie in my mind. I have a lethal combination of hope and a vivid imagination. I always have to protect myself from myself. I want nothing more than Mach 5 level, core shattering, center of someone’s universe, love. So, when I’m 2 weeks into something and a guy says he knows he loves me, is falling for me, has fallen for me, or any combination; I’m incredibly mindful of time and circumstance. I ease up. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. I’ll get there. I’ll fall. I’ll just want to be sure I fall as a grown woman and not the giddy girly girl.
Limiting Belief #3. “I’m too old, too broken, too set in my ways to find love.”
Shift to: “I am going to meet a wonderfully amazing man who will appreciate me for all I am and all I have to give.”
Look we are all crazy. The older we get, the more experiences we’ve had and these experiences frame our minds. We get hurt. We have scars. Doesn’t mean we should stay stuck.
I didn’t try sushi until I was 38 years old. I decided raw fish was gross. Then one day, I changed my mind. Amazing how that is. The mind can be changed in an instant. I remember calling my friend and telling her I want to try sushi. She was flattered she would be the friend pop my sushi cherry and took the lead in ordering. Today I love sushi. Point is you’re not too old, too broken, too set in your ways. You have the freedom to change your mind. You can be alone for years and then BAM! Your world as you know it changes. You go against all logic and all that’s known. You say yes and then adventures begin.
Limiting Belief #4. “There aren’t any good women/men out there. They’re all married or entirely messed up.”
Shift to: “There are plenty of great people and who I attract shows me exactly where I am. Like attracts like. I focus on what I want and believe they are on their way to me. All is well.”
Please make this promise to yourself. Promise that regardless of how many guys come and go; however, many times you allow myself to believe only to get crushed; that you will never, ever, ever give up on love. That belief will get you up in the morning when you feel worthless. Trust me on that. Tap into your romantic mind that says your guy can be on line at Starbucks and you don’t want to miss him. Please believe he’s out there and he’s hoping for someone just like you. Then when you meet him finally and things start to go great and he says he’s waited his whole life for you; you can believe him.
Lisa Concepcion, writer, speaker, vlogger and Founder of LoveQuest Coaching™ is a Professional Life Coach specializing in dating, relationships and self-love. Originally from New York now based in Miami, Lisa candidly shares the valuable lessons she learns on her own LoveQuest journey offering online workbooks and video workshops, group workshops, one-on-one sessions, and seminars, to help people attract, give and keep love starting with love of self. Connect with Lisa via her YouTube Channel or by visiting LisaConcepcion.com