I’m now 46, so my early dating life took place in the late 80’s and 90’s. Back then when a guy liked me he didn’t text me. He didn’t Facebook, Instagram, or Tweet me. He didn’t swipe right. He talked to me. First, he looked at me, smiled, flirted with his eyes and when I nonverbally matched his vibe he came over to say hi. This is how it went. People met people in person. Guys approached girls. When we were dating and it was presumed we were ONLY seeing one another; we’d be making out to In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel, he’d look at me and say, “Lis, I realllly reeeeaaallly like you.” As a professional Love Strategist, I constantly encourage my clients to up their verbal and non-verbal communication game; not to mention vibrational frequency so they aren’t so reliant on technology to express emotions. While I agree online activity and texting adds a convenience factor to revealing fondness of another; face to face communication is optimal when it comes to expressing feelings of fondness for another person. Given I remember what dating was like back before smart phones, social media and dating apps I will draw upon some old-school tips to show interest in a non-creepy way.
1. Sweeten up on Social Media.
If you’re going the social media route be clear on your agenda. If you have a crush on one of your Facebook friends and would LOVE to take them out on a date message them. “Hi Lisa, I really like your posts. You’re funny and I like your style. We should grab a drink sometime if you’re into meeting Facebook friends in person.” Notice to get the use of you’re and your correct. If she’s a woman of value she’s paying attention to grammar.
This is an easy way of saying very clearly that you like the person and value the way they present themselves and is absolutely a tactic to show interest in a non-creepy way.
2. Compliment them.
If you’re already dating then let the compliments fly. Tell them you like how they dress and how they reach for your hand, how they know to order the most delicious things, how funny or smart they are. When complimenting be as specific as possible. Here’s one for the guys, “I like how your hair smells when we hug after not seeing each other for a while.” Ladies here’s one for you. “I like the way you always ask me if the car temperature is okay and ask how my dog is doing. It’s nice.” Notice, appreciate and compliment what’s good and more good comes. It is Law of Attraction!
3. Buy them thoughtful things.
Extravagant gifts can come across a little creepy at the beginning of a relationship so go smaller. If they have a favorite candy, buy it for them. If they have a certain beverage they like buy it and have it at your place for them when they come over. Then tell them, I got you something! My boyfriend loves chips so I make sure I have chips to snack on when he’s over. It shows him I like him and want him to feel welcomed. He sees I show interest in a non-creepy way.
4. Introduce them to friends and family.
When you like someone a lot you want the people who matter to you meet them. When you bring the person, you like around your friends it says that you value them enough to blend them into an important part of your life. My boyfriend introduced me to his dad who was visiting town and this introduction happened on our second date. For a social media marketing project, I had been invited to dine at a restaurant and could bring 2 people. I realized he and his dad would probably like to try the food. So, I invited them. He took me up on the offer and we had a great time. It’s now months later into the relationship and his dad asks how I’m doing whenever they speak. He thought my invitation was thoughtful and sweet, not creepy at all. I though his accepting the invite wasn’t creepy. I also thought he really must like me to bring me around his dad.
5. Leave them or mail them a handwritten note.
Handwritten notes are the best. Sometimes you want to say more than a text will allow. Email is so cold. A hand-written note shows emotion. Express yourself on paper. Hand them a note or leave it for them in a place they will see it and it will melt their heart.
6. Cook for them.
I am blown away at how many people these days don’t know how to cook. It’s time to learn. When you make the effort to cook a meal for someone, it shows them they are not only liked but cared for. There’s something nurturing about asking, “Hey did you eat? Are you hungry?” that shows interest in a non-creepy way. You like them and your actions show it.
7. Tell them how you feel.
What? Tell them? Yes! Saying things like “I like spending time with you. I like how I feel when we’re together. I feel close to you and it’s nice,” are all nice ways to tell someone you like them in a non-creepy way.
About the writer:
Lisa Concepcion, writer, speaker, vlogger and Founder of LoveQuest Coaching™ is a Professional Life Coach specializing in dating, relationships and self-love. Originally from New York now based in Miami, Lisa candidly shares the valuable lessons she learns on her own LoveQuest journey offering online workbooks and video workshops, group workshops, one-on-one sessions, and seminars, to help people attract, give and keep love starting with love of self. Connect with Lisa via her YouTube Channel or by visiting LisaConcepcion.com